Monday, February 12, 2018

Keep Moving Forward

I think this is the biggest lesson that I’ve learned in my life.. We experience loss, heartache and pain in this life but we have to choose to keep moving forward. I remember when I didn’t win Miss Indonesia 2013, I was really sad.. I can say that God knows the best but still I was disappointed at myself at that time and that was the time when I had to choose to move forward.. When I lost my dad in the beginning of 2017, I could just choose to lock myself in my room and cry every single day, but I knew that I had to move forward. When I got rejected by a company, I could just keep blaming myself and stop trying but I just moved forward.. it’s so easy to say it when we don’t know exactly what that person has been going through. I don’t think you would say “just move forward” when someone’s child was killed by a reckless person.. you wouldn’t say “just move forward” when someone is diagnosed with a chronic disease.. we don’t say things like that. That’s the thing. Whether it’s an emotional plan or physical pain, both can be really really painful. So, when I’m writing this blog, I’m not saying this to ease your pain, because trust me, I understand.. I understand more than you could ever think. We can’t just say “keep moving forward” to minimize the person’s pain but we can say that to ourselves. When I feel like I’m down and I don’t know what else to do, I just say to myself “keep moving forward”.. I don’t even know what I’m moving forward to, as in I don’t know what’s in front of me.. but I can’t just sit and do nothing. I have to wake up everyday, get ready and move forward.. Walking with Jesus is not always ‘WOW! Life is so full of excitement!’ Sometimes we lose our excitement on life, but don’t stop moving forward when you lose excitement on life.. You may not know the plan that God has for you, honestly, I also don’t.. but whatever plan it is that He has, just remember that it is a plan to prosper you, not a plan to bring you harm (Jeremiah 29:11)


Love you 💙

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

How to be happy?

It’s been 2 weeks since I posted my blog in the beginning of this year. Within 2 weeks, so many things have happened. Good things and bad things. Sometimes we can’t stop the bad things from happening in life and when that happens, usually we forget all of the good things that we have or those we once had. In the beginning of this year, I wrote about choosing to be happy as my New Year’s resolution but I broke that off already :p There were days that I was so grumpy and unhappy.

As I’m sitting on my bed right now, I am thinking to myself “I wrote about choosing to be happy but I never wrote about how to be happy??” Let’s say, you already CHOOSE to be happy now but you don’t know HOW to be happy in the middle of the chaos and all of your problems. HOW to be happy when everyone around you is one step ahead of you and you’re still at the same place where you were last year. HOW to be happy when you have to pay the bill but the amount in your bank account is not sufficient. HOW to be happy when you don’t know what the future holds and everything is so uncertain. Well, I’m not gonna give you 10 steps to be happy right here, but I just wanna share one thing that I’ve learned to do recently in order to be happy.

I was reading this book called “Hyyge” (read:hue-gah), it’s a Danish word which means a warm and welcoming things that makes life better in the simplest of ways. It is a way of taking the time to feel safe and happy, to enjoy the warmth and security of being with people you love. Hygge is popular because it encourages people to slow down, kick back and take a moment. And that’s IT! That’s the thing that we all need to do. We need to slow down, relax and take a moment to be GRATEFUL. I know there must be a lot of things in your life that you wanna change or you wish to be better. It can be your career, family, relationship, friends or anything. I also feel that way. But, somehow, I’m too focused on things that I wanna change or wish to change that I forget to slow down and take a moment. So, here I am, taking a moment to be grateful. When I look back, there are so many things that I can be grateful for:
-My family
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They’re not perfect and we’ve had a lot of dramas. But that’s my family and I’m grateful that I can call something that’s mine.
-My graduation day 👨‍🎓 👩🏻‍🎓 
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If you think that this is just another normal graduation day, well, it’s not. So many things HAPPENED on THAT DAY and I am grateful that I successfully went pass that day. It also needs a lot of hard-work and patience to get to that day (read my blog: http://yemima-hutapea.blogspot.co.id/2016/04/god-is-in-control.html?m=1 )

-My “High & Low” Project 
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This project is just starting and to be honest, we don’t know the next step that we’re gonna take yet. We don’t know when we will be as big as Justin Bieber or as big as Oh Wonder 😋 but at least, it’s starting..

-Lastly, this guy :)
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This guy has put up with me a lot and I am so thankful for him.. Many times I take him for granted and see his past mistakes more than I see the amazing things he’s done for me. Right now I wanna say, I’m so proud to be yours, babe!


Well, maybe you’re reading this and you’re saying “yeah, you have a cute boyfriend. Yeah, you have a nice family. Yeah, you have a degree and a job now. Yeah, you have a lot of things to be thankful for.” Let me tell you this, there’s a LOT of things that you don’t see behind those photos. I struggled over a lot of things with my family. Austin and I went through a lot of tests and challenges in our relationship, even now we are together again, we are still in a long distance relationship. My job doesn’t always pay me well or on-time and there are times that I don’t feel excited to do it. My graduation day almost got postponed just because of one small thing. Sometimes I think, “why can’t I get things that I want easily?” Even now, my life is still not that easy, BUT, there will always be a BRIGHT side in your life when you WANT to see the BRIGHT side. Yes, your job is hard and tiring while other people’s jobs are more interesting but hey! At least, you have a job. Yeah, you’re single while everyone around you is dating someone or even married but hey! You have a few good friends that are worthy of your time and attention plus remember, it’s better to be single than to be married/in a relationship with a wrong person. Yeah, the project that you’re working on has not developed yet but hey! At least, you’re working on something and you’re gonna see the result one day! Oh please, take some time this year to slow down and take a moment. We live in this world that is so crazy and so obsessed with social media. It’s so easy for us to look at other people’s lives and wish that our lives would be like theirs. But, you don’t know what they’re going through in their lives and sometimes comparing yourselves with other people is gonna kill your happiness. Take a moment to slow down today, let’s make time just for you and what is really important for you: to look back and be grateful.

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Goodbye 2017, Welcome 2018!

2017 has been a tough year for me. Not only in my career or relationship but also in my family, because we have lost our dear father/husband. Everytime a day goes by, I feel like "thank God I can pass today without being dramatic!!" Only God knows how much I've cried this year.

Entering 2018, I have mixed feelings. I have to be honest with you.. I am excited but I also feel a lil bit anxious. For some people, I am the most optimistic person, but honestly, I'm worried about how I AM going to behave or act in 2018.

Most days of 2017 were filled with tears, fears, worries, doubts and of course when I left 2016, I didn't expect 2017 to be that way.. that made me feel like I shouldn't have waited until 2017 ends to decide to make a change.

To be honest, I never thought that I would lose my father at the age of 22.. I never thought that I couldn't graduate last year just because there was one compulsory class that was not open last year so I just graduated this year.. I never thought I would STILL be in a long distance relationship until now.

There are things that out of my control. I can't control my father's death, I can't control someone else's decision, to be honest, sometimes I feel like I can't even control my feelings but the truth is I can.. yes, we can. We're the only ones who can control our feelings, emotions, and attitudes.

My new year's resolution is not trendy or fancy, it is just as simple as this: I want to be able to decide to be happy everyday. Life is hard. People change. They come and go. Money also comes & goes. Don't wait to be happy. Decide to be happy here and now. It's SO hard to make that decision! Even writing this right now isn't easy at all.. My wish for you is that you will decide to be happy in 2018 despite of your situation! I'm sorry that your boyfriend broke it off with you, I'm sorry that your parents didn't allow you to go to that university, I'm sorry you haven't seen your dreams come to pass, I'm sorry that person talked to you in that way, and I'm sorry for how your friends treated you, but despite all of that, please don't feel sorry for yourself. Don't be sorry that you're different. Don't be sorry that you're so melancholic. OWN it. It's your boyfriend's loss. It's your friends' loss. Make a decision that you decide to be happy today. If you fail to make that decision today, you can make that decision tomorrow. As a matter of fact, tomorrow is a perfect new start for making a new decision! Decide to say hello to 2018 and goodbye to 2017!

P.S: Your failures, disappointments and setbacks in 2017 have changed you on the inside. So don’t regret it. Oswald Chambers once said “You will never cease to be the most amazed person on earth at what God has done for you on the inside”. 2018 is gonna be better!

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Expect the great things!

“Ah tomorrow’s gonna be another long tiring day..”

“This is gonna get harder..”

Sounds familiar? I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can get so stressed out about tomorrow.. I worry about tomorrow too much that I can’t enjoy today. It’s so easy for me to think about how things won’t change in the future and it’s gonna be hard.


            Those who know me from the outside might think that I’m so positive and optimistic about life. But, honestly, so many times I feel afraid of the future.. Until yesterday, I was thinking about the future and I just realized that I was so negative! I was filled with so many fears, worries and doubts. Then I asked myself, “If I could imagine the bad things that can happen, why don’t I just imagine the good things?”. In life, there will be challenges and hardships but don't have low expectations in life just because we live in this fallen world. I don't want to spend my time worrying about the future. Instead, from now on, I will always expect the great things in the future.. We might hear people say  “Don’t have too much expectation in life or you’ll end up being disappointed!” hmm well, I used to believe that but now I WON'T! I wanna have great expectations in life. I expect to have a family, I expect to live in a cute apartment with my beloved husband and make a living out of my passion. I expect myself to be happy, alive and content. Does it sound wrong to you? for me, it sounds just RIGHT! Don't expect for the worst just because you don't wanna be disappointed. It's like being disappointed before you're actually getting disappointed! Ha. 

Expect the great things in life. Enjoy now. Have a big wild imagination! You are just one step closer to your imagination! So imagine the good things and dream BIG dreams.

xoxo,

Yemima H