I really feel the need to share this with you all, especially young girls.. (I always start my blog by saying that I need to share this, because I only write what I feel like I “need” to share, not only what I “want” to share..)
In this era, where boyfriend/girlfriend relationship has become something that is very common, I feel like the essence of finding the right one from God has lost its importance for some people. As long as you like the guy, that’s enough. It really saddens my heart.. We can’t build a relationship just based on feelings. I am not here to judge, once again, I am here to help.
I have met so many couples along my journey. Some of them are Godly couples, some of them are just “Christian” couples. I am writing this with a heavy heart, but couples who started off with only feelings, ended up with a really bad damage. Some Christian couples who I know dearly, ended up having sex before marriage and getting pregnant. I know that God can turn our mistakes into miracles. But, God never desires us to make mistakes intentionally.. It hurts Him and causes Him a great sorrow when we do that.
Feeling is deceitful. That is why, it is hard for us to listen to The Lord when we are driven by our feelings. I’m not saying that God will point out to you the one person that you’re gonna marry (this happens to some people though!) What I’m trying to say is, God will give you guidance and wisdom on who to marry (the characteristics/the qualities), when to start a relationship and how to build a God-written love story. We do this not only because we want to have a wonderful relationship. But, we do this because we love The Lord.
Even relationships that initiated by God can be damaged if we let our feelings take control along the way.. The decision to guard our heart and mind is the decision that we have to make and we need God's help to do that each day. I’ve been in a relationship, a God-initiated relationship, because if it wasn’t God, that relationship won’t even be possible to happen. However, there’s a “but” here.. But, I let my feelings get in the way. Thank God! Only by His grace, we didn’t commit into any sexual sins & we had never even kissed. But, it caused a damage to my heart (although it's not his fault! he's a wonderful man of God). When my partner at that time felt that God called him to go to another place and we should call off our relationship, I found myself trembling down. I cried for days/months. I know break-ups are always hard. But I also do believe that when it happens, it doesn’t have to be that bad. Especially, when we put Jesus at the center of our relationships.
I’m sharing all of this so that you know that I know how it feels.. Relationships should not always end up badly. Even, if they don’t work out.
I’ve met some couples who didn’t end up with each other but still remain friends because they were not only driven by their feelings when they were still in a relationship. I believe that this is God’s desire for us.. He wants to be the center of our relationships. He wants to be the One who brings two people together. Not our feelings, not our mutual love for each other but our mutual love for Christ.
I wish men and women of God would know this in their hearts. Not only God wants to be involved, He wants to be in control. When our relationships bring us closer to God, it will bring us closer to each other (in a healthy, heavenly way). Be patient, wait upon The Lord..
Do not let your feelings get in the way.. I’m not saying that when you get into a relationship, you have to be cold and emotionless, but remember that you have to guard your feelings.. Ask God for wisdom. Ask God to check your heart daily. Are you in this relationship just because of your feelings? Or Are you in this relationship because you know in your heart that God wants to use you and your partner for His glory, for doing something big in His Kingdom together? I have so much to say about this.. I am gonna share more in my upcoming blogs! Girls, I love you and we’re on this journey together <3